Social Media and I

This was initially drafted in my mind as a thread on 𝕏 or a long post on Instagram. Then I remembered I had an underutilised website. Goes to show that's how my mind works - social first.

Recently I took a five-day break from social media. I shut myself off something that has been a big part of my teenage and adult life for the first time. Five days may seem like nothing to many but for me it was a huge deal. Since Myspace or Friendster were invented, I have never gone a day without social media. As I said, it's a big part of my life, whether I have a problem or not, is another story.

In the beginning it was for fun. Having online friends, sharing thoughts and photos. And then it got serious. It was work for me. It was a career. There was really no chance for me to be off it competely. Especially in my line of work - mainly in sports social media, it was just relentless. You snooze you lose.

My feelings towards it is hard to describe. I love it, I still do but I also hate it. So, I guess I have a love-hate relationship with it. It would need a whole new blog post to write how I really feel about it.

The day finally came recently. I was completely off work for the first time ever. I made this decision to give myself a break. I was planning to go on a five-day holiday at the beach with my husband and my baby so this is a good opportunity for me to not let social media be part of the trip for the first time. It was always part of our holidays all this while, no matter the destination or time zone. My loved ones never really got me all to themselves because work was constant. And of course I am not just blaming work. I am also guilty of oversharing at times, but it was work most of the time especially when on holidays.

I took some steps before going completely off social media. Maybe I did not trust myself enough. I turned off all notifications on the apps, I moved the apps to a different folder (they were all on my home screen, obviosuly) and I told my friends not to share stuff with me on DM and when they shared social media links to me on WhatsApp, I didn't open them. I told them to send me screenshots instead if they needed to be discussed.

Just to be clear, I wasn't on a digital detox. I was only doing social media detox. I was still available on WhatsApp and I still went on Google to read news or articles. Only this time, I wouldn't be sharing interesting things that I've read or seen on social media, like I normally would.

It was easier than I thought. 𝕏 containing so much nonsense lately helped. I guess being on a holiday at a beautiful, isolated resort and beach definitley helped too. I was glad I was able to be present for my family and pick up my Kindle again that has been kept away in my drawer for the longest time. I've missed reading a book a lot. Reading helps fix my attention span and mental capacity that have probably suffered from too much of social media use.

I realised I was fine not knowing things that did not concern me. I was more in control of what I want to see or consume. If I want to look at the news from today, I just searched for it online. I did not need to know any other content surrounding the news that we would normally see on social media. I did not need to see or hear others' thoughts on something or share my thoughts on them.

At the start of the detox, I did wake up and found myself looking for 𝕏 or Instagram on my phone but I quickly realised I was on a social media detox. It just shows that it was a routine for me and I had a muscle memory that looking at social media was the first thing in the morning. It didn't have to be because I would be okay and being without it for five days proved that.

After five days, I went back on social media. Back from my holiday, trying to get some rest by going back on social media wasn't really the best idea. I scrolled Instagram a little bit and then 𝕏. Very quickly I felt so overwhelmed. It was a strange feeling. The detox worked. My mind was clear. And then it wasn't again. Maybe because I was also very tired at that time.

I still haven't turned on my notifications for the apps or moved them back to my homescreen. I think the experiment was very useful. I found ways to regulate my social media use. I think notification is the killer. Before, I only turned on notifications for DMs or comments on Instagram, and on 𝕏 I only had notifications on for mentions and DMs. Now I turned them all off because it's okay to not respond immediately.

Social media apps are addictive by design. But how you choose to spend your time is entirely your decision.

'Are you okay?'

Never in my life have I been asked if I'm okay as many times as yesterday (4 Sep 21).

I won't deny that the last couple of days have been unpleasant to say the least. I tried to not let things get to me too much but I think I should stand up for myself. The world and social media are not always kind, especially to women. I have been in sports for most of my career, I would know and I'd like to think I have learned to manage it well.

I considered everything before I signed up for this new role. I fully expected the reactions on Twitter. It would be silly of me if I didn't. Then again, some are just baseless and unfair but that's Twitter for you.

It reminded me of the time when the Football Association of Malaysia (FAM) offered me a job. I had the same feeling, the same thought, I weighed everything because I have always had strong opinions about them, and I still do because I care so much about football. I put aside my opinions. I left my role at Astro which I enjoyed because I wanted to grow, learn more and make a difference in some way. At that time I felt that going to FAM would give me that. This is a body that controls football in Malaysia. This is a game that I love. I was 24 and at the end of it I learned so much and understood better how they function. Now I still question them, but this time I know the right ones to ask.

After some great years in the sports media industry, I started working with clients from other industries. Each one challenged me in a different way. I believe this is how you grow. I am glad that people now realise skills in this field, especially coming from sports media, is not constrained to just one industry. I hope this too can inspire those who are pursuing their career in the same field.

The past months I have been busy with the national covid vaccination programme. I have never made this public because it is something I would support naturally.

I helped the communications team on the social media side. Covid has left me and a lot of people frustrated and like everyone else, I just want things to go back to normal. So I thought if vaccination is the way, I have to do all I can. When I had the opportunity to help the team to encourage people to get vaccinated, how we can communicate better, who we can reach out to so everyone can be protected, I grabbed that chance. I worked with many great, hardworking people from the task force and although it's frustrating and you can get disheartened sometimes, we had to brave it through. For a programme of this scale, all that was inevitable.

How my new role was 'announced' was not ideal. I knew what was coming and it came fast. However, I was still caught off guard. This is a challenging role of another level. Unchartered territories for me. Not just because of the title of the role, but especially to be taking on the role at a very important ministry, in a very difficult time for the country. The pressure is like no other. I guess I must be out of my mind, but this is a challenge I am willing to take and the responsibility I am willing to carry.

To those who wished me well and checked on me, thank you, I needed that.

To those who’ve unfortunately chosen to question my integrity, ponder this: If you were asked in the middle of a deadly pandemic that’s decimating our country, if you would be willing to use your expertise and professionalism in a non-political way to help communicate how people can protect themselves and their loved ones from Covid, how we can move forward and live a healthy life as a nation, would you refuse because of your political opinions?

Maybe some will still say no but I can’t speak for others. You make your own choices in life and they aren’t always easy. My opinions from yesterday, last week or 10 years ago were my opinions at that time. They may have changed, they may have not.

Like any other job that I have done, I take this one very seriously. My head and heart are in the right place. I hope our country will heal soon and that we will all see the light at the end of the tunnel. One thing I hold on to: nothing lasts forever.

The Sky Is The Limit

When I was in school, I never really knew what I wanted to study after school. I never really knew what I wanted to do for a career but I knew I wanted to be in the creative industry. I knew exactly why I decided to study Mass Communications. In my mind at that time because I wasn't very sure of what I wanted to do, I thought I should study something that will later give me a variety of career options I can get into. As someone who dislikes the idea of being one-dimensional, I liked the freedom to try a bit of everything it will give me. This was one of the best decisions I've made in my life.

Fast forward 13 years later, I have now been in publishing, broadcasting, journalism, marketing and digital media. This path I took has allowed me to evolve as a person and as a professional. One key thing from my experience is that, you must always be open to learning new things, new skills. Be versatile especially if you are in the creative, digital industry. A lot of the things I know now I either taught myself or learned from the people I met and worked with. There was nothing about social media when I was in college. But now I am able to consult people, companies and organisations on how best to communicate on social media.

It's important to be genuinely curious. For me, it has always been easy because I am naturally curious, especially about things I am interested in. I must have the latest update on social media and I must let people know about it. I must use the latest social media app there is and learn about it so I can help people with it. That's the social media part of my career. In recent years, this has been my focus.

Building a personal brand is also important. My background is mostly football and sports. That's what people associate me with. It's not a problem as I love football and my passion in football is what brought me where I am now. But I also believe I am able to do anything I put my mind into. In fact I am now being approached to do things away from sports and football which is very interesting. I am still always learning, always curious, always up for a new challenge.