This was initially drafted in my mind as a thread on 𝕏 or a long post on Instagram. Then I remembered I had an underutilised website. Goes to show that's how my mind works - social first.
Recently I took a five-day break from social media. I shut myself off something that has been a big part of my teenage and adult life for the first time. Five days may seem like nothing to many but for me it was a huge deal. Since Myspace or Friendster were invented, I have never gone a day without social media. As I said, it's a big part of my life, whether I have a problem or not, is another story.
In the beginning it was for fun. Having online friends, sharing thoughts and photos. And then it got serious. It was work for me. It was a career. There was really no chance for me to be off it competely. Especially in my line of work - mainly in sports social media, it was just relentless. You snooze you lose.
My feelings towards it is hard to describe. I love it, I still do but I also hate it. So, I guess I have a love-hate relationship with it. It would need a whole new blog post to write how I really feel about it.
The day finally came recently. I was completely off work for the first time ever. I made this decision to give myself a break. I was planning to go on a five-day holiday at the beach with my husband and my baby so this is a good opportunity for me to not let social media be part of the trip for the first time. It was always part of our holidays all this while, no matter the destination or time zone. My loved ones never really got me all to themselves because work was constant. And of course I am not just blaming work. I am also guilty of oversharing at times, but it was work most of the time especially when on holidays.
I took some steps before going completely off social media. Maybe I did not trust myself enough. I turned off all notifications on the apps, I moved the apps to a different folder (they were all on my home screen, obviosuly) and I told my friends not to share stuff with me on DM and when they shared social media links to me on WhatsApp, I didn't open them. I told them to send me screenshots instead if they needed to be discussed.
Just to be clear, I wasn't on a digital detox. I was only doing social media detox. I was still available on WhatsApp and I still went on Google to read news or articles. Only this time, I wouldn't be sharing interesting things that I've read or seen on social media, like I normally would.
It was easier than I thought. 𝕏 containing so much nonsense lately helped. I guess being on a holiday at a beautiful, isolated resort and beach definitley helped too. I was glad I was able to be present for my family and pick up my Kindle again that has been kept away in my drawer for the longest time. I've missed reading a book a lot. Reading helps fix my attention span and mental capacity that have probably suffered from too much of social media use.
I realised I was fine not knowing things that did not concern me. I was more in control of what I want to see or consume. If I want to look at the news from today, I just searched for it online. I did not need to know any other content surrounding the news that we would normally see on social media. I did not need to see or hear others' thoughts on something or share my thoughts on them.
At the start of the detox, I did wake up and found myself looking for 𝕏 or Instagram on my phone but I quickly realised I was on a social media detox. It just shows that it was a routine for me and I had a muscle memory that looking at social media was the first thing in the morning. It didn't have to be because I would be okay and being without it for five days proved that.
After five days, I went back on social media. Back from my holiday, trying to get some rest by going back on social media wasn't really the best idea. I scrolled Instagram a little bit and then 𝕏. Very quickly I felt so overwhelmed. It was a strange feeling. The detox worked. My mind was clear. And then it wasn't again. Maybe because I was also very tired at that time.
I still haven't turned on my notifications for the apps or moved them back to my homescreen. I think the experiment was very useful. I found ways to regulate my social media use. I think notification is the killer. Before, I only turned on notifications for DMs or comments on Instagram, and on 𝕏 I only had notifications on for mentions and DMs. Now I turned them all off because it's okay to not respond immediately.
Social media apps are addictive by design. But how you choose to spend your time is entirely your decision.